'Sex in the City in the style of a Clock Work Orange' by Sarah Hair


‘Come,’ I said: ‘my sisters, it is a choodessny day to spend some cutter.’ And they, which are Sally, Fiona, Donna and Violet were all looking like starving chicks waiting to be fed. I found it very hard not to be as excited, but my platties were so very old that I had to plesk abit of dobby cutter from my hoards, but with that, Sally said ‘I don’t have any money, I will just come window shopping.’

And indeed, O my sisters, I knew when out shopping with my devotchkas, I knew that that dobby pischa mesto was like calling me, O my sisters, since the day I first tried that dobby pischcha I could never be like weaned.

‘And I will watch you all eat,’ said Sally, ‘I suppose I should be on a diet anyway with these trunks for legs.’ Then she like grabbed a chunk of her thigh and said: ‘See, see. Time to make a start,’ all my dobby devotchkas smecking with radosty, then she like sat down. She said: ‘Seriously I can’t watch you all eat, I should stay here,’ and then put her head down. So I was put on the spot and felt all shilarny that Sally would be missing out, so I wondered if the others were feeling this shilarny, but skorry soon they all like jumped up. They squeaked: ‘dear we will pay for your pischcha. No problem.’

‘Wonderful,’ I said, with relief. I did not quite have enough cutter to spare, the dress the purse the shoes to go with it all, I had to get. I looked around, at all my devotchas, their litsos full of radosty that we were all setting off on our pretty polly spree. Sally looking all a bit gloopy and said: ‘I don’t know what to say my friends, you are all awfully kind. I am ever so sorry though for this trouble.’ I said: ‘forget the appy polly loggy. These dama’s offered, it is only an insult to refuse, now we must shop.’

‘Of course, let’s go shopping,’ yelped all my grinning devotchkas.

Comments

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you. There is a second part to this on my blog http://sarahkayhair.wordpress.com/2011/12/29/sex-in-the-city-in-the-style-of-a-clockwork-orange/

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  2. I don't know how you managed to pull this off but you did it so brilliantly, well done!

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